


I hope love lifts you up (again and again)

by whatlighttasteslike (waitingforeleven)



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: (also - coulson's still alive), A little angst, Babies, Baby Fic, Canon Compliant, F/M, Fluff, Friendship, Parenthood, Post Season 5, Pregnancy, Team as Family, fitzsimmons family, just a whole lot of hopeful conversations between the team
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-27
Updated: 2018-07-27
Packaged: 2019-06-17 01:12:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15450090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waitingforeleven/pseuds/whatlighttasteslike
Summary: Prompted fs + "I'll drive you to the hospital." and "Can I hold your hand?"After Fitz and Jemma's baby daughter arrives a little earlier than expected, the team helps them stay hopeful as they wait to bring their newborn home to the Lighthouse.





	I hope love lifts you up (again and again)

**Author's Note:**

> I was prompted fs + "I'll drive you to the hospital." and "Can I hold your hand?" by hemnalini and lifeofamonkeybum on tumblr... a _while_ ago.
> 
> I honestly don't know where this came from (although I've read quite a few memoirs with stories of mothers and newborns recently, so that might be it). I had this picture in my head of Jemma with her daughter since the finale, so this is the result. This takes place quite a bit after the team rescues Fitz from space.
> 
> A small content warning: the plot involves Jemma giving birth to a preemie. Everything is fine and it's mostly fluff with a tiny bit of angst, but I wanted to give you a heads up just in case. I chose to keep the details relatively vague since the story is more about the moments between the team. There is also a mention of Mack and Hope, but it's very brief.
> 
> The title is a lyric from the song 'Welcome Home' by Joy Williams, which she wrote about having her first child.

 

 

 

  

It was May who said she’d drive them to the hospital.

 

When they’d discovered Jemma was carrying their first child, they experienced nothing short of pure elation at the prospect of building a family together. They weren’t necessarily trying to conceive, their lives finally taking on a familiar routine of missions and days spent in the lab with S.H.I.E.L.D. slowly making its way out of the shadows. The Lighthouse was fully up and running with new recruits, and after completing a full schedule of counseling and team building together since they’d woken Fitz in space, they finally felt a sense of peace as they settled into a timeline without expectations or promises.

Even though she would never dare admit it to him, Fitz knew Jemma still felt the loss of never getting the privilege of experiencing the one bright light at the center of their broken world that made up the time loop – the daughter so courageous and kind that she would grow up to raise her own child. So, when the test came back positive, and then the confirmation from their ultrasound technician that they were indeed expecting a little girl, they finally felt that the universe was giving them a tiny speck of hope for a future free of any curse.

But they knew the universe would never truly go easy on them.

It was too soon. Fitz knew this not only by the strict calendar Jemma kept in their bunk, her notes meticulous in tracking every stage of this new chapter of their lives, but also by the look on her face. It was a mixture of relentless pain and discomfort, but also a faint look of worry that Fitz had yet to witness cross her face.

When they finally arrived safely at the hospital, everything happened in an endless blur. Moments of stress and reassurance blended together until Fitz found himself clutching Jemma’s hand fiercely, a dizzying wave of doctors and nurses at their side ready for the arrival of their small miracle of a daughter. There was shouts of pain and exhaustion, kisses pressed to his wife’s forehead, an agony he wished he could endure for her. But he didn’t recall much of those long hours of labor, his mind having trouble focusing on the in-between. He could only truly remember what the world was like before and after.

Before, she didn’t exist beyond the swell of Jemma’s stomach, a tiny flutter against her skin when he placed his hand there at just the right moment, a black and white blob in a photograph framed on their bedside table. Before, she existed as an empty place soon to be filled, a reason to move into the larger bunk down the hall, a new page in their photo album labeled ‘our family,’ a soon to be glorious day marked on their calendar when she finally arrived.

After, she existed in a little world of her own, a closed off existence where people moved quickly, so many questions hung in the air, and she couldn’t yet breathe on her own. He could have cradled her between his palms, but she was taken to her new home of tubes and wires before he even got the chance.

When she was taken away for tests, Jemma sagged against him on the hospital bed, her fingers searching for his until he intertwined them against his chest, urging her to focus on his beating heart, the rhythm now her most coveted sensation since their tear-filled reunion in space. He could sense her determination to stay positive, her jaw set firmly as she listened to the doctor’s words. Their daughter was simply too small for the world just yet, but soon, the little body of hers would by strong enough to bring new life into their lives as she experienced an endless list of firsts. From the small glimpses he got of her in the doctor’s arms, Fitz thought she was the most precious thing in the universe, just as he suspected she would be. But he knew that Jemma was having trouble processing the sight of her, too concerned for their little one’s health.

May stayed in the room the entire time at their insistence, the mother figure giving them someone to turn to when it felt like the world was spinning out of control without any sign of slowing down. When the room finally became less chaotic and Jemma grew uncharacteristically quiet, Fitz summoned her over, relieved to see a calm expression on her face. Kneeling down on the side of the hospital bed, she took Jemma’s hand and squeezed it gently.

“Hey, look at me,” she said in a quiet but determined voice. “Things don’t always go to plan. You know that more than anyone. So just breathe, okay?”

Fitz leaned his cheek against the top of Jemma’s head, his eyes shining as he felt her nod.  

“She’s in good hands,” May insisted. “You’re going to get through this. All three of you.”

After she let them be, Fitz sank onto the bed next to Jemma to whisper gentle reassurances in her ear of the things he knew for certain. Though their daughter was small, she was made up of all the wonderful things that made her human. She had hands that would soon reach out for the mysteries that made up her early life. She had eyes that she would soon use to look at her mum with complete adoration. And she had a beating heart that would grow stronger every day, along with the strength she inherited from her mother that told her to keep fighting for the next sunrise.

 

 

\---

 

 

It was Daisy who asked about names.

 

When her friend entered the neonatal intensive care unit after Fitz had stepped out for a few minutes, Jemma had been singing. She remembered her own mother singing the simple lullaby to her up until she was much too old for that sort of thing. She liked to think her mother was preparing her for this very moment, when even through her exhaustion and stress since giving birth, the love-filled tune would always live inside her mind for when she needed it most.

During the first few moments at her daughter’s side, Jemma couldn’t settle on a particular feeling. All of her preparations and research about the first few weeks of bringing a newborn into their home did little to prepare her for how she felt now that her little one couldn’t be without doctors monitoring her growth. Jemma knew it was always a possibility to give birth sooner than expected, and they’d been lucky that her daughter qualified as a moderate preemie. And the doctors had already informed them that she was doing well since her delivery and would be strong enough for the real world in no time. Still, Jemma couldn’t help but worry.

To help calm these worries, the medical team had given her and Fitz a list of ways they could help in their daughter’s growth and development. Just as other parents tended to their growing infants, they were still learning, but it did provide them with many waves of comfort knowing their daughter simply hearing their voices could have such a profound impact on the early days of her life.

She was still so small, her features so delicate Jemma was afraid she would vanish from thin air. Even so, her tiny hand wrapped around the tip of Jemma’s finger gave her something to focus on. Even if she couldn’t breathe without assistance, even if she wasn’t quite ready to try feeding on her own, it was something. And she was _theirs_ , a beautiful picture built from pieces of her and pieces of him. Jemma never imagined they could create such a wonder of a human.

“She’s a lucky girl to have you as a mom,” Daisy told her as she sat down and leaned towards the incubator. “It’s in your bones.”

Jemma smiled sweetly, her friend’s company a welcome change from the many doctors and nurses that frequented their little home away from home.

“Fitz too,” Daisy added. “I know he’s still… having a hard time with a lot of things, but I never doubted that he would love any child of yours just as much as he loves you. He’s going to be so great.”  

“I know he will,” Jemma replied as she relaxed into her chair, still maintaining contact with her daughter’s hand. “Even in a future where the world broke apart, he was apparently a wonderful father.”

“Well, I’d expect nothing less.”

Jemma lowered her head. It was still so reassuring to hear the words, to know they were in a place where Daisy could speak of Fitz without her voice wavering. It meant more than Jemma could even begin to express.

It wasn’t an easy road to travel on to find a piece of their old friendship, a path Jemma knew Fitz struggled to comprehend as he took full responsibility for actions he would never have to truly relive inside his head. Just as the other version of himself had retreated to other parts of the base to escape the painful looks and the guilt that always followed from simply seeing Daisy across the room, this Fitz kept his distance, knowing little of how to mend what had been so severely broken during his lost days as he chose to coin them. After spending their early days since his return in bed as they tried to make sense of the daunting paradox of losing his life while he was still breathing, it wasn’t until his third week back from space that Jemma found him with Daisy in the rec room, a clear distance between them on the sofa, but sharing the space nonetheless. When she let them be and he returned to their bunk a few hours later, Jemma was pleased to find him without the usual tension in his shoulders, his eyes shining with something beyond guilt or sorrow. For the first time in a while, he looked hopeful, like they could finally accept the worst parts of each other but hold on to what made them human.

Now, as Daisy looked at their daughter with a calming curiosity as if she were already deeply attached to the little girl, Jemma placed a hand on her shoulder, still unable to find the right words to express her gratitude, an endless list of conversations still unspoken between them.

“Thank you,” Jemma settled on for now, her voice soft. “For being here.”

“Of course,” Daisy said, pulling on Jemma’s hand to hold it in her lap. “Where else would I be?”

“Still. It means a lot.”

“Well, I wouldn’t miss this, and she’s not a hard thing to look at. She’s incredibly cute.”

“She’ll look like Fitz, I’m sure. Curls would be nice.”

Daisy chuckled in agreement.  

For a few moments, they sat together quietly as they peered through the incubator at the tiny infant. Jemma had yet to take her eyes off her for more than a few seconds, not wanting to miss a single detail. Beyond getting to take in all the things about her that already reminded Jemma of Fitz, it was fascinating to watch her daughter grow before her eyes.

“Have you thought about what you’ll call her?” Daisy asked. “May won’t admit it, but I think she’s dying to text Coulson with a full report, first and middle names included.”

Unable to shift her gaze from her child, Jemma shook her head. “We still don’t know. We thought of family names, but I don’t know, it felt… odd. I thought of Fitz’s mum, but…” She paused to take in a breath. “We don’t know when we’ll even see her anytime soon,” she finished, her voice catching at the end of her sentence.

“Hey,” Daisy said softly. “You’ll see your family.”

“I know. It’s just been so long.”  

Daisy nodded, looking down before giving Jemma a reassuring expression. “Mack and I will see what we can do.”

“Thank you,” Jemma said through a sigh. “Anyway, I know it’s common to pass down names to your children, but…” She shrugged.

“But what’s so common about the two of you?” Daisy finished for her.

Nodding, Jemma returned her focus to the incubator and watched the steady rise and fall of her daughter’s chest, her eyes starting to well up at her friend’s words.

It had truly felt like a miracle to be experiencing something so normal for once – a husband and wife expecting a child together, the world no longer weighing so heavily on their shoulders. And with this new future ahead of them, Jemma put tremendous thought into every single stage of her pregnancy. Dozens of names for their unborn child had entered her mind at one time or another, but now that their daughter was finally here, none of them seemed to fit just right. Knowing Fitz, he’d likely agree to any name she suggested (unless it was horrendous, of course). So, she didn’t want to offer up a name unless she was absolutely sure of her choice.

“You changed your name when you discovered your real one,” she eventually said to Daisy. “How did it feel?”

“To finally become Daisy Johnson?” She paused, letting out a slow breath. “Like I’d found who I was supposed to be all along. The world can call me whatever they want. Skye, Quake… destroyer of worlds. But they can’t take away what my parents gave me.” Clearly sensing Jemma’s worry over such an important detail of her daughter’s life, Daisy shifted forward on her seat and took Jemma’s hand once more. “It doesn’t have to mean anything specific, but it should matter. So, give her a name that’s completely hers. I’m sure it’ll come to you eventually.”

“I hope so,” Jemma breathed.  

“And then after you give her a good name, all that’s left to do is give her a good home. And that should be the easy part for the two of you.”

 

 

\---

 

 

It was Mack who found Fitz in the hallway.

 

Running on 32 hours with no sleep, Fitz was surprised that his thoughts were relatively quiet. Then again, there was nothing he could do to make things better, no solution he could summon from the depths of his mind if he just thought hard enough. All he could do was wait and tend to his wife, her pleads for him to get some fresh air forcing him to leave the NICU for a little while. But he could only make it a few meters down the hall before he leaned against the wall and sunk to the floor. He’d shed tears when their daughter had finally arrived, a waterfall of joy and relief that the pain was over for Jemma, and they could lay their eyes upon the small wonder they’d created together. Then there were tears of a different sort when they were informed about the intensive care she would have to endure before she was ready for the real world. He knew things were already looking up, her growth slow but steady, but it was still a lot to take in since she’d arrived. Now, his eyes were dry, the harsh fluorescent lighting forcing him to press his palms against his eyelids for relief.

It wasn’t long before he heard familiar footsteps, his friend a towering presence amongst the nurses that frequented the halls. When he slid down next to him to sit on the floor, Mack didn’t say a word. Through the quiet, Fitz could feel his friend’s eyes on him, likely waiting for him to break the silence.

Fitz didn’t know what to say, so he simply lowered his head and focused on his breathing. Over the last few days, it was overwhelming to feel so many things at once: complete amazement after witnessing the person he loved most in the world give birth to their child, a moment he’d only ever dreamt about. Shock that he was now suddenly a father, a role he never felt he could ever prepare for, let alone deserve. And then there was the worry that something would go wrong. Even if the doctors were confident that she was doing well, even if she was growing every minute of every hour, the universe had never been on their family’s side. He felt it everywhere – in the nausea in his stomach, the slight shaking of his hands, the spiraling thoughts inside his head.

Just when he thought he was about to lose it again, he felt Mack’s hand come to rest on his shoulder. “It’s okay to be scared.”

Fitz nodded instantly, a slight shudder escaping his throat. “I know.”

“She’s a fighter. She just came into the world a little too early, but that’s okay. It happens all the time.”

It was then that Fitz was reminded of what his friend had gone through so long ago, the love that was brought back to life in the Framework and then so forcefully taken away once more. Looking up, he met Mack’s eyes with an apologetic expression. “You don’t have to… I-I know this is probably hard for you to be here.”

“Fitz.”

“No, we’re fine. If you want to go back to the base, Jemma and I won’t mind.”

But Mack shook his head. “I’m good right here. I used to only have some… pretty painful memories of a place just like this. Hopefully one day, I’ll get to make some happier ones. And I’ve already got one in the works.” Fitz raised an eyebrow, so Mack smiled.  “She looks a lot like you.”

Fitz huffed, shaking his head. “You’re just saying that. It’s too early to tell.”

“No, I’m not. I can see it. One day, you’ll be able to see it too.”

Reluctantly, Fitz nodded. He’d always pictured it every once in a while, no matter how much he told himself not to – a miniature version of himself or Jemma. It was hard to remember that one day, his new daughter would really look like them both, a strange and beautiful piece of the universe that existed solely because of the two of them. And now here she was, and his friends could already see their reflections in her too.

“Now, something I’m sure you can see clearly,” Mack continued, “is how she’s getting stronger every day. I know you feel helpless right now, but what you’re doing, being here and being there for Jemma, it’s helping more than you think. The whole team is here for you, you know that, right?”

“Yeah, I know. I just…” He pulled his hands down his face in frustration. “I just wish there was more I could do.”

“You’re thinking like a father.”

Fitz let out a deep breath in disbelief. The word still felt foreign, a title he only saw himself taking on in the distant future or in alternate timelines. Even when he learned of the daughter he’d raised with Jemma in the time loop, it still didn’t feel real.

“She’s… _ours_ ,” he finally said. “We’ve just been worried and exhausted, so it’s hard to reflect on the fact that we… created her.”

“You sure did. I can already picture her being a spitting image of you two. I’m sure we’ll have to make sure she keeps her hands out of the lab, but that shouldn’t be a problem.”  

“Yeah, who knows how much trouble she’ll get into.”

Mack tilted his head. “Legos should keep her occupied for a while.”

Fitz let out a weak chuckle. For what felt like the first time since his daughter entered the world, the worries were beginning to subside, and Fitz felt much calmer than he had when he first stepped into the hallway.

Mack smiled then, his hand having moved to the side of Fitz’s head. A heavy silence was brewing between them, and when Mack finally spoke again, his voice was thick.

“You did really good, Turbo.”  

Fitz stayed quiet for a while, sensing there was something behind Mack’s words that he would never understand, not truly. He knew Mack could never look at him the same way again, not after what he had to witness, the memory likely still haunting him to this day. But Fitz also felt there was a new stability in their friendship now that they could finally move on.

“Listen, if you want something else to do,” Mack said some time later, his wavering voice replaced with a friendly tone, “you can start by taking care of yourself.” After getting to his feet, he extended his hand forward to pull Fitz up. “Come on. You need to eat something.”

 

 

\---

 

 

It was Elena who gave them a gift.

 

It took some time, but their daughter was breathing comfortably now, her lungs strong enough to work on their own. They’d also transitioned to her being held for long periods of time, the skin to skin contact giving Jemma more hope that things were looking up. She was still so careful, maintaining the proper angle of her little one against her chest for proper oxygen flow. But it was quite a thrill to know that her own body heat was helping her child grow stronger. And she had to admit – she was getting rather addicted to the feeling of her daughter drifting off in her arms.

Fitz had passed out a few minutes ago, exhaustion finally getting the best of him. He looked dreadfully uncomfortable curled up in the chair propped next to Jemma’s, but she knew she wouldn’t be able to convince him to find a comfier spot. He never liked to leave her for long, always assuring her he wanted to experience every single moment of his daughter’s early life. But Jemma knew it was more than that.

And in a strange way, Jemma knew Fitz felt a debt to this other version of himself, even if a part of him knew that his choices would likely be the same no matter the loop. That version of himself would never get to experience the new sensations that came with this new life – the strange but magical flutters against his hand as it rested against his wife’s stomach, Jemma’s breath of relief against his neck when their daughter finally entered the world, the tiniest hand gripping his finger for dear life. In this version, all he had to do was wake up. And for Jemma, that was enough.

Every once in a while, she would forget that she’d lost a version of him, a man who gave up so much of himself to save their friends, to ensure their future children lived in a world with gardens, sunlight, oceans. And then, without warning, it would come rushing back to her – all that shock and pain and sadness she’d ultimately pushed down once he finally wrapped his arms around her in the Zephyr in space, the weight of his head against her shoulder grounding her in the miracle of their second chance. She wasn’t reminded of those feelings often, only when she didn’t know where he was for longer periods of time. Still, ever since he recognized the intense relief that washed over her face whenever he came back to her from wherever he was, it became their unspoken rule to only spend the necessary amounts of time apart. Once she learned of her pregnancy, it was easy to uphold that promise, Fitz nearly convinced that she could go into labor at any moment despite science telling him he should relax and simply wait. And now with the addition of another girl in his life that he loved with his entire being, Jemma knew he would be stubborn to even think of changing his ways. Truly, she didn’t mind.

They’d had a breakthrough that day, their daughter finally feeding for the first time without any trouble. Jemma was nervous about the whole process since it was still so new, no matter how much she had researched beforehand. Yet once her daughter latched on, everything seemed to fall into place.   

“I knew she could do it,” Jemma had said as she looked up at Fitz.

“Yeah, she just needed time is all,” he’d murmured, kissing her temple.  

At the moment, their daughter was against Jemma’s chest in as deep a sleep as her father. Feeling content and surprisingly rested, Jemma pressed her lips lightly to the little pink hat covering her daughter’s head before seeing Elena hovering in the doorway.  

“Can I come in?” she asked hesitantly.

“Of course.” Jemma nodded towards the additional chair next to her, and Elena sat down quietly to not disturb the sleeping infant.  

“How are you feeling?” Elena asked.

“I’m feeling much better, and we’re hanging in there,” Jemma answered. “She’s doing so well, getting bigger every day. And he’s gotten more sleep over the last few days,” she added, tilting her head towards Fitz’s sleeping form, “so that’s helping.”

“That’s good to hear,” Elena said, keeping her focus on Fitz. “Do you still worry about him?” she asked, a bit of hesitance in her voice.

“All the time,” Jemma admitted through a sigh. “But he knows this is something he can’t fix. She has to grow stronger on her own. She’ll get there. She’s just not quite ready to go home yet.”

“And what about you? How are you holding up?”

“It feels so strange, but at the same time, it doesn’t. Because of Deke, I knew I was capable of raising a child even under the most extreme circumstances. And now that it’s happened in a world that’s very much intact and she’s finally here, I know deep down we’re going to be okay. And then I look at her and I think… how is she even possible? After everything we’ve been through, it still doesn’t feel real.” She shook her head, a tear escaping her eyelid. “I don’t know what I’m saying.”

“No, I understand,” Elena assured her. “We sacrifice so much for what we do, so it’s hard to embrace the good moments when they actually happen. But you can embrace this one. She’s real and she’s gonna grow up to be just as brave and compassionate as her parents.”

Jemma sucked in a breath and nodded before dropping her chin to her chest, still so amazed by the presence of the little life resting against her. She hoped Elena was right, and looking at her daughter now, her sleeping form in such a state of peace, Jemma truly couldn’t imagine her becoming anything less than the kindest soul in the universe. Deke’s mother had turned out that way; it was only fitting for this child to grow up and uphold that legacy.

“I wanted to give you this,” Elena said a bit later, reaching into her jacket pocket.

“Oh, you didn’t have to get her anything,” Jemma insisted.

“Well, it’s for both of you.”

Elena opened a small box to reveal a small star shaped pendant on a thin gold chain, the sight causing Jemma to take in a quick breath. She couldn’t remember the last time she wore the necklace Fitz had given her shortly after Lincoln’s death. Even after their team’s loss, the two of them finally felt like they were in a good place, the new turn in their relationship still fresh and full of possibility. She’d worn it as a symbol of hope and a promise for the two of them, that together, they could handle anything the universe threw at them. She didn’t know what happened to it in between the chaos of the LMDs and saving the team from the Framework, so to see a piece so similar to the one she’d cherished so dearly warmed her heart.

“I was never sure how much it meant to you,” Elena told her, “but I always saw you wearing it, so it’s too bad it got left behind. Maybe when she’s old enough, she can wear it and think of how far across the universe her parents had to go to be together.”

“It’s gorgeous,” Jemma whispered, watching the light catch the shining pendant.

“I would put it on you, but a clasp that small might get crushed by these fingers,” Elena said through a chuckle. “We’ll keep it safe for you until you go home.”

“Thank you.”

“Is there anything else you need?” Elena asked after placing the box back in her jacket pocket.  

“No,” Jemma replied. “I think we’re fine here.”

Before she got up to leave, Elena gave her a more serious expression. “I just wanted to say… I know you’re strong, all of you. But it’s okay if you need help or something to hold on to.”

Jemma nodded, a smile ghosting on her face as she took the words deeply to heart. It was still so much to take in. Losing Fitz, and yet finding another in space still left her in a strange state of loss and acceptance. And now, they had a growing reminder of how beautifully their story continued to unfold before them, the small bundle asleep against her chest a promise that new life was always around the corner.

As much as she wanted her friends to think they were comfortably adjusting to this new step in their lives, there were so many moments that left her utterly thankful to be surrounded by so many loved ones.  

Just as Elena was about to push herself out of her chair, Jemma reached out and pulled on her sleeve.

“Yo Yo?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I...” She paused, stifling a faint laugh. “Can I hold your hand?”

Elena tilted her head, her expression softening before she sunk back down into her chair. “Of course, you can.”

Through a sigh, Jemma took Elena’s hand gently, the metal cool against her skin, and then closed her eyes. Since configuring the new arms what felt like ages ago, Elena had grown so accustomed to them that Jemma sometimes forgot they weren’t true flesh and bone. And at that moment, Jemma felt like there was something even more comforting about holding this new hand. They’d lost so much to get to this place – their friends, parts of themselves – and yet, they somehow always found a way back. A robot hand was still a hand. And even if they weren’t exactly where they thought they’d be, they were still okay.

 

 

\---

 

 

It was Jemma who laughed for the first time in forever.

 

The car seat was still too small to keep their daughter secure in the straps, so Mack had helped Fitz redesign it to fit her just right. Jemma imagined it wouldn’t be the only project the two of them would embark upon that would revolve around their small child. And even if they wouldn’t spend much time in the lab as they took on their new roles as parents, putting their minds to work in making their child’s life more enjoyable felt like the perfect use of their combined intellect.

Currently, their daughter was settled on Jemma’s arm, her eyes wide as she took in the new environment. The hallway just near the hospital exit where they waited on Fitz wasn’t as quiet as their previous home of the NICU, but the noises were a welcome reminder of the world they were about to enter together. From across the hall, Jemma could hear a group of nurses bursting into laughter behind their station. And then a few rooms down, she could hear what sounded like a set of grandparents meeting their new grandchild for the first time, the gentle and joy filled tone of their voices nearly bringing tears to Jemma’s eyes.

She couldn’t wait for all of it – the laughter, the cries in the middle of the night, and the sight she was now witnessing as she glanced toward the hospital exit. Fitz still looked worn out, dark circles visible under his eyes, his previously favored wardrobe of dress shirts and slacks completely abandoned for tees and old cardigans – much to her liking.  But there was a new light behind his eyes, a soft twinkle that seemed to never fade no matter the time of day. Jemma knew it wouldn’t be easy – the expected late nights, learning the ins and outs of their new routine for raising their family – but seeing him so much more content, so much _happier_ provided her with so much joy she thought she might burst.  

When he made it to her side, he smiled widely, his eyes shifting between those of his wife and daughter. “Everything’s packed up, so we should be good to go.”

Jemma was about to lift herself carefully out of her chair, but then she got a better look at her husband’s wardrobe and suddenly burst into infectious laughter.

Fitz froze, giving her a happy but confused expression. “What is it?”

“Oh, Fitz. Your cardigan’s inside out,” she told him, reaching out to pull on the sleeve.  

“What? Oh, God. Mack didn’t even say anything.” He started to pull his arm through one of the sleeves, but Jemma grabbed his wrist.

“No, no. Don’t fix it now,” she said through more giggles, her cheeks now aching from smiling so widely. “It suits you.” She didn’t know if she was simply delirious from spending so much time in one place, the last few weeks exhausting both physically and mentally. Whatever it was, letting go and laughing so openly left her feeling so much lighter, her previous aches and worries long forgotten.  

Eventually, her laughter finally subsided, and she returned her eyes to her daughter. Fitz kneeled down next to her, resting his hand on her forearm. “You okay?” he asked.

“Yeah, I’m wonderful,” Jemma replied through a final chuckle. “We really did it. She’s ours, Fitz. It took weeks of sitting next to this one to get here, but time has never been kind to us.”

“That’s true. But even if it took a little while longer that we expected,” he paused to reach out and lightly brush his finger across his daughter’s cheek, “she turned out just perfect.”

In the time since she’d arrived, their daughter had already grown and changed so much, her expressions now brighter with innocence and curiosity as she grew accustomed to their voices. She was still too young for smiles and laughter, but they could already tell she was going to be an animated one. And even though Jemma knew the love between the three of them could never be measured, she had a small feeling her little one was going to grow rather attached to her father. Jemma wouldn’t blame her; she’d understood that feeling for almost half her life.

When Fitz turned to her then, his expression was soft. “You’ve been amazing,” he told her. “I don’t know how you… after everything…”

“So have you. Yes, I technically contributed more of the _physical_ work of bringing her into the world, but I couldn’t have done this without you.”

He pulled in his lips and nodded. “I’m thankful you didn’t have to.”

When he leaned in and pressed his lips effortlessly against hers, Jemma was reminded of how many kisses they’d shared just like this in the past, often imagining how their lives would shift and sway as they grew older and deeper in love. And now things were so entirely different for them, their minds always thinking of the small bundle in her arms. But this – the rush she felt of complete adoration for this man when he kissed her senseless – that would never change.

When he pulled away, Jemma smiled even wider. “And now we have this one to fuss over,” she said, scrunching her nose before placing a small peck on her daughter’s forehead. When she pulled back, she tilted her head, an idea blooming in her mind. “I was thinking… what about Charlotte? She is little, after all.”

Fitz responded by cradling Jemma’s cheek before pressing his lips to hers once more, the kiss quick and soft but still leaving her breathless. “It’s beautiful. Charlotte… Primrose? Is that too weird?”

“Ah, _no_ , it’s perfect.”

“Maybe Rosie for short.”

“Our first little flower,” Jemma said cheerfully, giving her newly named daughter a slight bounce.

“And you’re sure this is what you want? You and the team saved the world, and you still want to live in the Lighthouse?”

“ _We_ saved the world, and yes. I’m not saying it’s permanent, but for now, I think it’s the right place to be. I don’t want to lose what we have with the team.”

“Yeah, me too,” he agreed. “Alright, you two ready to go home?” he asked, rubbing Jemma’s back as he straightened up.

“Yeah,” she said softly, letting Charlotte wrap a tiny fist around her finger. “I think we are.”

 

 

\---

 

 

It was Deke who took them by surprise.

 

Just like in the beginning, May carefully drove them home, the new parents in the back of the vehicle already making plans for future outings as a family, never ending shopping lists, and the many arrangements that would be necessary for raising a child in a spy organization’s base. They agreed it wasn’t the most conventional place to live as a family. But with the team’s bond now stronger than ever, they couldn’t imagine their lives anywhere else.

“Thank you for being there,” Fitz said to May once they were inside the Lighthouse’s central elevator on their way to their bunk. “It meant a lot to us. We probably couldn’t have done it without you.”

May simply nodded. “If there’s anything else you need, Mack and I will make sure to get it for you. You deserve some time to yourselves.”

“We wanted to ask,” Jemma said, hope filling her voice as she lifted her head from gazing at her sleeping child, Charlotte’s car seat hooked on her arm. “I know he’s been keeping a low profile, but… is there any chance to see him in person?”

May looked down to smile. “Knowing Coulson, I’m sure you’ll see him soon.”

They still didn’t know the exact circumstances surrounding Coulson’s miraculous recovery, and it wasn’t their place to press May for details, even with her frequent absences from the base. Still, knowing he was out there somewhere, somewhere at peace, sent immense comfort through the two of them.  

Once they arrived at their proper floor, May left them so they could settle into their bunk.

“It really wouldn’t take that much fuel to pilot for the day with three passengers,” Fitz said as he struggled to balance their heavy bags on his shoulders. “Or four if Daisy agrees to come along.”

“You’re really still thinking about the zoo?” Jemma asked through a chuckle. “Don’t you think we should wait until she’s old enough to even remember it?”

“Yes, that’s true, but there’s no harm in wanting to get out more. We’ve barely gone fifteen kilometers outside of this town, excluding doctors’ visits.”

“Because of your protective nature! I was lucky to leave our bunk, let alone go out of doors.”

“I know, I know,” Fitz said as they rounded the corner towards their bunk. “Which is why I think it would be good for us. And now that Davis’ wife lives close by, they could join us as well.”

“Well,” Jemma replied, her gaze on her child, “we’ll have plenty of time to convince Mack that taking a Quinjet for the day is a reasonable request.”

“Would it be too much to add another passenger?”

Fitz had stopped a few meters away from their destination, and when Jemma caught up to him and looked up, she found Deke leaning against the wall outside their bunk. The last time they’d seen him was a few months after rescuing Fitz from space. Fitz still wasn’t sure what to make of Deke, his grandson’s presence being the most confusing news he’d discovered since waking up. But Jemma was happy they seemed to get on quite well with each other considering their relationship before they broke the time loop. Now, Fitz appeared quite pleased to see Deke, who now sported a noticeable tan amongst a few other changes in his appearance. His hair was sticking up in the back a bit more than usual and he wore a new jacket, but other than that, he looked just the same.  

“If you get permission, of course,” he clarified through a nervous laugh, scratching his chin.  

“Oh,” Jemma said through a gasp. “Hi.”

“Hi. Yeah, sorry,” he said, stepping forward. “Probably should have led with that. It’s good to see you.”

“You’re… here,” Jemma said in disbelief. “I can’t believe you’re here right now. When did you—”

“A few days ago,” he answered. “Daisy’s been keeping me up to date. I know I should have been there, but I didn’t know if you wanted me to or if it would be too weird after everything that happened, or _didn’t_ happen, I guess. Since technically time was changed, so my future – or past, I guess – doesn’t exist anymore. But, you know, I still wanted to be there for you in a supportive sense.”

Deke’s words were spilling out with no sign of slowing down, so Jemma strode forward as best she could with Charlotte still hooked on her arm and grabbed hold of his wrist. “It’s _okay_ ,” she told him. “We’re glad you’re here now.”

He nodded, then glanced down. “What’s her name?”

Jemma gave him a proud smile. “Charlotte.”

There was the slightest shift in his expression, and Jemma could recognize the faint disappointment on his face, which she assumed meant that their daughter’s name was not the one they’d given to his mother in the future. Once they broke the loop, she knew it would happen this way. And since rescuing Fitz, they hadn’t seen much of their grandson as he went off to explore the world.

She didn’t blame him. She couldn’t imagine what it was like for him growing up in the Lighthouse without so many of the simple pleasures they often took for granted in today’s world, so she hoped he was experiencing as much as he could ever since S.H.I.E.L.D. provided him with an official identity. Despite him not being such a major part of their lives as much as he was when they’d first met, he was still their grandson. And now that he was here, Jemma wanted nothing more than to let him experience meeting the newest member of their family for the first time.

He was already staring at Charlotte like she was something out of a dream, so Jemma placed the car seat on the ground and carefully undid the straps to pick up her daughter, who was now fully awake. “Would you like to hold her?” she asked.

“What? Oh, umm, that’s alright, I don’t need to—”

“It’s okay,” she assured him, already moving forward. “She’s small, but she’s stronger than she looks.”

His eyes were wide, but he eventually nodded. “Yeah, sure.”

“Wait,” Fitz called as he rushed forward, already reaching his hand in his pocket. “Hand sanitizer.”

“Ah, right,” Deke agreed.

Once Fitz was satisfied his grandson’s hands were germ free, ever so carefully, Jemma placed Charlotte in Deke’s arms, arranging her until she settled comfortably. “Just keep her head-yeah, just like that.” She could feel Fitz hovering close behind her, likely almost having a heart attack at the sight.

Despite Fitz’s concerns, Jemma’s heart nearly melted as she took in her daughter settling so effortlessly on Deke’s arm. Charlotte looked slightly confused by her new companion, but she wasn’t making a fuss, much to Jemma’s relief. She even spied a faint smile on Deke’s face as he gazed into the little one’s eyes.

“She’s really is something, huh?” he said.  

“Yeah, she is,” Jemma said quietly.  

“Anyway,” he said, looking up, “another reason why I wasn’t there was because… Well, I was working on this.” He tilted his head in the direction of their bunk, so after giving Fitz a curious expression, Jemma typed in her code to unlock the door.

When they stepped inside, Jemma couldn’t help but let out a surprised chuckle as she took in their newly decorated bunk. They’d moved into the larger one at the end of the hall, providing them with enough space to dedicate half of the room to their daughter. It was also close to a side elevator, which allowed them easy access to the ground level. Even if they planned to raise their daughter in the Lighthouse, they hoped to take full advantage of the small town and get to know its community as much as possible.  

The walls were freshly painted, her and Fitz’s side of the room filled with soft greys and blues, while Charlotte’s side was made up of bright shades of yellow and pink. A set of drawers faced the newly installed cot along the back wall, along with an utterly ridiculous mountain of toys still in their wrapping. But what caught Jemma’s eye was an old-fashioned rocking chair and a small basket already filled of board books sitting next to it in the corner.  

“Found that at a charity shop,” Deke explained. “Same one where I got your… well. You know.”

Nodding, the memory of her first wedding dress sending a quiet wave of sadness through her, Jemma sunk down into the chair and took in the space, her eyes following the paper trim along the wall of what appeared to be a fruit pattern. The rocking chair creaked under her weight, and Jemma imagined the many stories that were likely told in that very chair over the years.

“It’s not finished yet,” Deke admitted, “and I won’t lie, I had a lot of help. IKEA is enormous.”

“It looks amazing,” Fitz told him.   

“Mack also upgraded the locks and security,” Deke explained. “He installed cameras that sync to your phones, so you should be good to go. Plus, you’ve got like half a dozen babysitters at your disposal, so I don’t think you’ll ever have to worry.”

“Oh, trust us,” Fitz said. “We’ll still worry.” Reaching his hands forward, he took his child from Deke’s arms. “Every minute of every day, isn’t that right?” Bringing Charlotte up close to his face, he kissed her cheek before he curled her into his chest.

“I hope you don’t mind,” Deke told them. “I sort of planned on staying for a while, if that’s alright. I don’t want to get in the way or anything, but I just thought…I don’t know. I kinda miss it. Being here with you guys.”

“Of course, it’s alright,” Jemma assured him. “We missed you, too.” Standing from the rocking chair, she moved to Deke’s side. “And thank you,” she said warmly. “You didn’t have to do all this. It’s… _so_ much more than we would have hoped for.”

He looked down, nodding. “I wanted to. And even if she’s… even if she’s technically not my mom, I want any offspring of yours to live somewhere safe. Somewhere that feels like home.”

Jemma placed her hand on his shoulder. “Well, I’m sure she’ll adore it.”

 

 

\---

 

 

It was Fitz who made a wish.

 

It had been a year. A year of restless nights, wobbly steps, endless laughter, and so many memories they cherished every night as they fell asleep, their family bunk a warm and comforting oasis at the center of the Lighthouse. Luckily for them, compared to their other years since joining Coulson’s team, the last year had been rather uneventful, which they welcomed wholeheartedly. Little moments were spent in the lab to work on side projects now that Charlotte was settling so well into her life at the Lighthouse, but that didn’t mean they were in any condition to join missions like they used to. It was their promise, a promise they were determined to keep this time around. And they found that even if they didn’t partake in the team’s outings, they didn’t truly miss much, especially the dangers of the universe.

That night, they’d technically gone to sleep at 9:30 pm, the next day’s full schedule requiring as much rest as possible, but Fitz couldn’t doze off, not with so much on his mind. As he took in the quiet of their bunk and the steady rhythm of his wife’s breaths – the usual lullaby that sent him to sleep – it didn’t take much for him to notice Charlotte starting to squirm in her cot at 3:21 in the morning. Naturally, he was out of bed in an instant before Jemma could even roll over on her pillow.

They’d developed somewhat of a routine for quieting their newborn in the middle of the night, but they didn’t always stick with it, especially when Fitz actually enjoyed calming his daughter at such an hour. Luckily, the thick walls of the base allowed him to take Charlotte down the halls during her crying fits without disturbing the other sleeping agents. It didn’t usually take long for her to settle down, and now that she was a bit older, she was mostly sleeping through the night. But the next day was special, so Fitz wasn’t all that surprised to find her wide awake seeking the attention of her doting parents.

“Can’t sleep either?” he asked as he picked her up. “I know you’re clever, but I can’t imagine you know what tomorrow is.” Closing the door softly behind them, he glanced at his watch.  “Well, technically, it’s already tomorrow now, so you know what that means? It’s your birthday.”

With a surprising amount of energy for the time of day, Charlotte kicked her legs in Fitz’s hold, her little hand coming playfully up to his face to grab at his cheek.

“Now, don’t get too excited,” he teased her. “Your mum didn’t think a party was really necessary, but I think she’s secretly excited about it.”

When they’d agreed to have a celebration for Charlotte’s first year, Fitz didn’t want Jemma to lift a finger, easily recruiting Daisy, Piper, and Deke to help with the festivities. He liked to think they were just as thrilled for his daughter’s first birthday as he was, but he suspected they were more excited at the prospect of getting a night off filled with cake and drinks for the adults in attendance (which, excluding Charlotte, was the entirety of the guest list).

As far as gifts, Jemma had insisted they weren’t in need of anything ever since they’d shared their joyful news with their families. It was a memory they’d cherish for a long time – Jemma’s parents and Fitz’s mum arriving at the base on a quiet Sunday afternoon after Davis had picked them up from the UK. The three parents were overwhelmed by the number of milestones they’d missed of their children’s lives, but completely overjoyed to meet the newest member of their small but growing family. And with their arrival at the base came the arrival of more than enough baby supplies, clothing, and toys to last a lifetime.

Promising to return to England for Christmas, they’d said an emotional farewell after a few short days, but it was worth it, especially for Fitz. He feared the distance and time away from his mother would have changed their relationship, and it had, but for the better. Her visit led to weekly phone calls, the sound of her calming voice providing Fitz comfort on harder days, days when his mind wouldn’t quiet or when his worries about his daughter got the best of him. It was in his very nature to worry about her, the early days of her life having previously sent him into a state of helplessness, but with a year behind them now and his daughter clearly happy and healthy, he felt stable, something he previously only dreamt of feeling ever since the chaos that defined the last several years. Now the only thing he was worried about was Deke remembering to pick up the birthday cake.

Their friends had already hung up the party decorations in the rec room the night before, so Fitz turned to walk in the opposite direction of the base to keep the surprise for the two of them. Eventually, he found himself in the lab, his workbench in disarray from the previous day’s projects.

“You’re not really supposed to be in here,” he murmured against Charlotte’s forehead, “but I think I can make an exception just for today.”

Lowering himself into his swivel chair, he took in the welcome sight amongst the mess, one that always brought him a smile even on his lowest days. Unbeknownst to them, May had snuck a peek inside the hospital right when they were about to head back home for the first time and took a picture. It was a bit far away, and Charlotte was so small, she could barely be seen. But the photo captured the exact moment they’d chosen her name, a moment Fitz felt their new life as a family had officially begun.

“I wish you could remember that day,” he said, turning Charlotte around on his lap so she could see, bouncing her playfully as she babbled away. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen your mum so happy.”

Everything about his daughter still took him by surprise: her expressions and developing personality, the little smiles, laughs, and squeals that never ceased to amaze him. There was something particularly endearing about the way she clung to Jemma, her eyes always brightening at the sound of her mother’s voice, her hands always reaching out for her whenever she came in the room. And beyond all the things that made her special, for Fitz, Charlotte was living proof that the world could create someone just as extraordinary as Jemma, a feat he never thought possible.  

Beyond his growing child, he was still in awe of his wife as she grew to be the most caring mother he’d ever witnessed. It always felt like a natural role for her, and from watching her vows from the wedding he would never remember, he knew it was something she’d always dreamed about. If only the universe weren’t so cruel to them, she may have become a mother a lot sooner.

“I know you don’t understand birthday wishes,” he told his daughter, “so maybe you’ll let your dad have this first one if that’s alright?” He turned her around, holding her up while she stood on his lap, one of her favorite pastimes. Walking still needed some work, but she was making progress.  

Looking into her eyes, Fitz sighed. “Go easy on your mum this year. She’s been through a lot.”

She made a noise of content as she blinked up at him, her eyes wide and curious.

“More than you’ll ever know,” he added softly, pulling her against his chest, her little hands clutching at his t-shirt.  

For a few moments, Fitz just held her, Charlotte’s little chest rising and falling against his own. Leaning back in his chair so she could lay against him comfortably, he closed his eyes, his thoughts drifting to Jemma, the upcoming celebration, and what he hoped would be a day to remember.

A couple minutes later, he heard footsteps, the gentle cadence he knew by heart.  

“Don’t you two look cozy.”

Turning his head, he found Jemma leaning against the doorframe, her hair a bit of a mess, yet still looking as stunning as ever.

“Morning,” Fitz said.  

“Ugh, not yet,” she replied through a groan, wiping her eyes as she came into the lab. “I’m the one that gets to decide when it’s morning.” When she reached their side, Charlotte let out a small squeal before calling for her mum. “Hello, darling.”

As she took her daughter in her arms, Fitz tilted his head to the side. “Oh, is that right?”

“Mm-hmm. And I say it is far too quiet in this base for it to be morning yet.” Happy in her mother’s arms, Charlotte yawned and curled in closer.

“Oh, now we’re tired, I see,” Jemma muttered, patting Charlotte’s back lightly. “Did you have a nice walk?” she asked FItz, her eyes on her daughter.

“Yeah, we did,” he answered happily. “Can you believe she understood an entire lecture on the properties of spacetime?”

“Oh, impressive,” Jemma said through a laugh.

“Even with our recent modifications,” he pointed out with pride.

“Well, isn’t she an attentive one.” Through a sigh, she shifted her gaze towards Fitz. “I was worried,” she admitted. “Thought you may have woken because you were hearing things.”

“No, no,” he said, waving her off. “It wasn’t that. I’ve been good lately, and I would have woken you if that were the case.”

“That’s good.”  

Turning his chair so he could lean his elbow on his desk, he gave her an easy smile. “How are you, wife?”

Jemma chuckled, now rocking Charlotte gently as she started to drift off. “I’m well, husband. Looking forward to tomorrow. Or today, technically. What a day to celebrate, hmm?”

“Yeah, I can’t believe it’s already been a year. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to it.”

At his words, Jemma nodded before briefly looking down at her feet, and Fitz watched her intently as her expression shifted ever so slightly. Every once in a while, she would get a look in her eye that never stayed put for long, something deep in her mind that she’d wave off as nothing.

“What is it?” he asked her when she stayed quiet.

“Nothing.”

“It’s something.” He scooted his chair forward to take her free hand. “It’s something… _he_ said, wasn’t it?”

Twisting her mouth, she shrugged. “Similar, but not really. It doesn’t happen often, I promise. It used to throw me off more. Now, it’s…” She paused, squeezing his hand and taking a deep breath. “It’s a reminder of what I’m so lucky to still have. Because I didn’t lose you, not really.”

Fitz swallowed hard, nodding for her to continue.   

“Every year, I always think about what we’ve been through, and year after year, it’s always something else, but we stayed strong through all of it. And since she was born, it’s felt like a new beginning for us. But especially for you. Which is why it’s not just a celebration for her. It’s for you too. One year of being the most extraordinary man and father. Not that I’m surprised.”

Despite his eyes shining, Fitz chuckled. “Jemma, Father’s Day is only a few weeks away. I’ll have my own day.”

“Right, I know that, but I still think it’s significant.” Moving closer to his side, she pulled her hand free to cup his cheek. “I know you don’t think of yourself that way. You’re always looking for ways to do more, to make us more comfortable. To make us feel more loved. Which is all lovely and good, obviously, but the truth is… you really don’t need to try so hard. And I mean that in the kindest way possible.”

Leaning into her touch, he let out a slow breath. “I guess I’m always just… worried. I don’t know. I didn’t want to mess it up.”

“You haven’t. And you’re not going to. Honestly, I wish you could see for yourself just how brilliant you are.”

Pulling in his lips, he nodded. Deep down, he knew she was right, no matter how many times he told himself otherwise. Even though his new role as a father was far from simple or less stressful than his previous life, he was truly starting to believe that they were going to be okay. And with a wife and daughter that cared for him so dearly, he continued to thank the universe for his luck.

“Come here,” he eventually said, gently tugging on her hand. He pulled her into his lap and wrapped his arms around the two of them as Jemma leaned on her head on his shoulder.

“I love you,” she whispered. “And so does she. Don’t you?” she asked her daughter, sweeping a hand over the back of her head where she was nuzzled against her. “You love Daddy, right?”

“Da,” Charlotte said against her mother’s chest, her eyes heavy as she seemed desperate to stay awake for just a moment longer.  

“Yes, of course, you do.”  

Fitz turned his head to press his lips to Jemma’s forehead. “Love you, too. So much. It’s gonna be a good year. I can feel it.”

“Yeah, me too,” Jemma said, looking up at him. “And we did alright, didn’t we?”

His smile widened. “Of course, we did.”

“Sorry,” she said, ducking her head to chuckle. “Don’t know where all that came from. Though, I know I don’t say it enough.”

“I guess I should keep waking up in the middle of the night if you’re gonna be throwing around sentiments like that,” he teased.

“Don’t give her any ideas.” She nodded towards her chest, Charlotte already peacefully asleep. “I’d like to keep up her normal sleeping pattern, thanks very much.”

“Speaking of which, you ready to go back? I hear the quicker we fall back to sleep, the quicker it will be until someone’s birthday party.”

“That’s right,” she said, standing. “And I hear there’s going to be cake and presents and a visit from Grandpa Coulson if she’s good.”

“Presents?” Fitz asked, startled. “I thought we decided—”

“Okay, I _may_ have indulged in the toy section when I was ordering her new jumpers for autumn,” she admitted, a guilty expression on her face when she turned around to face him. “You only turn one year old once, after all.”

He couldn’t help but smile before stepping forward to kiss her crown. “That’s true. I guess we can wait until next year to stop spoiling her.”

“Oh, we’ll see about that.”

Once Jemma cleared the doorway, walking slowly to keep Charlotte from waking, Fitz paused to turn off the light in the lab and watched them head down the hall towards their bunk. It was a sight that always caused his heart to skip a beat, and after the joyous year they’d had of Fitz collecting similar moments to revisit in his mind, he had a feeling his wish had already come true.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! You can find me on tumblr at [mylifemyheartmyhome](http://mylifemyheartmyhome.tumblr.com)!


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